The biggest culprit that keeps us stuck, makes us feel sad or depressed, turns many of us into a “bitch or an asshole” is giving away our personal power.
Every time that we do something to please someone else, don’t speak up or share our truth, say “yes” to something when we want to say no – we are telling ourself and the universe that our needs don’t really matter. Every time we do something that is not in alignment with our truth, we are taking a bat to our self-confidence and self esteem.
You may be thinking you are making these choices for the good of someone else, helping them out or even protecting them. For example, as a parent there have been many times that I have “helped” my child, when the reality was I took the easy route and in fact he needed to take more responsibility for his actions. In these moments I am not only zapping my energy source and power, I am also disempowering him in the process.
Having the courage to speak your truth is essential for your own evolution and happiness, but also for your loved ones.
What if you had the courage to speak your truth?
What if we chose to speak up in all areas of life— our work, our relationships, our family, with people in public? Imagine the freedom and power we would possess.
An important thing to remember is the difference between our opinions and our truth. We all have opinions—lots of them. Many of us think our opinions are actually facts, though they’re not! There’s nothing wrong with having and expressing opinions. However, many of them are filled with righteous judgment and an arrogant sense that we’re right and those who don’t agree with us are wrong.
Our “truth” runs much deeper than any of our opinions. Truth is about how we feel and what is real for us. Truth is not about being right; it’s about expressing what we think and feel in an authentic, vulnerable and transparent way.
Once you start to live from this place of authentic power you will feel ecstatic, confident, and truly respect yourself.
I invite you starting right now, to stand confidently in your power.
With an attitude of kindness and gentleness toward yourself, practice standing in your power when life presents you with the following opportunities:
Seeking Someone Else’s Love or Approval
Start to notice the different ways that you are seeking out someone else’s love or approval. This comes up for many of us every day! When it does just ask yourself, “What can I do right now to love myself? What can I do to give myself the approval that I am seeking? How can I fill myself up?
When someone asks you to do something that you don’t want to do try saying,”No” or “I’m sorry, but to be in integrity with where im at right now I can’t.”
These simple processes will literally radically change your world. When you are willing to back yourself, to follow through on your internal voice and take action from that place you will experience true, authentic power.
Be Real Not Right
When we focus on winning or being right, we no longer can access the deepest places within our heart, which is where our real truth comes from. When we let go of our attachment to the outcome of a conversation, what the other person thinks and are need to be right, we give ourselves the opportunity to get real. Being vulnerable and transparent are the key elements of speaking our truth, not dominating the conversation and the person (or people) we’re talking to.
If you are in a situation where you are overly focused on being right, with honesty and self compassion, ask yourself the following questions:
- Why do I have the need to be right with this person or in this situation?
- What am I afraid will happen if I give up my righteous position?
- What is it that I really want from this person or in this situation?
- What are the underlying emotions that I have not been willing or able to express?
- What would it take for me to let go of being right with this person or in this situation?
Asking and answering these and other honest questions can lead us to deeper place of authenticity within ourselves and with the other people involved in the situations in our lives that may cause us stress, worry, or pain.
At first, it might feel uncomfortable – wrong even. However, you are encouraged to courageously step outside of your conditioned beliefs and start to voice your truth around who you are and your needs (even if it hurts someone’s feelings). Like many things this is a practice, the more you do it, the more comfortable it will feel.
I would love to hear how you go on your journey to speak your truth. Please share your experience with us below in the comments.